Possibly the most devastating trauma to affect any relationship is the discovery that your partner has been unfaithful. While many of us consider that this revelation would inevitably lead to the destruction of that relationship, it is possible to overcome this situation and even strengthen the commitment between partners. However, this is not an easy road to travel and it will make huge demands on your psychic reserves.

Amongst the maelstrom of emotions and doubt you will doubtless experience on discovering your partner has been cheating, you may find yourself asking the question: “Can I forgive them?” While many might instantly dismiss this as a sign of weakness, taking the time to consider just what this question means on a psychic level can help you arrive at your answer. “Can I forgive?” is your subconscious’ way of letting you know that, despite the feeling of powerlessness you are experiencing, you have within you the power to create something positive from a terrible situation. In addition, your subconscious is also letting you know that you have the capacity for forgiveness, and you have more power in this situation than you might believe. As if that wasn’t enough, you are being reminded that you do have the psychic reserves and grace to make such a possibility a reality. This is often referred to as ‘strength of character’ but is, in fact, a measure of the depths of psychic energy you possess.

Listen to your higher self

While your partner may be the last person you want to talk to, he or she is the very person you must face. Your conscious mind will be full of recrimination and upset, reflecting on the disharmony registered by your higher self. However, your higher self is far better at perceiving the future than we can at a conscious level and you must tap into these powers. Begin by using positive visualizations. Picture yourself years from now as an older version of yourself. In this visualization, you should picture yourself as happy and healthy. These instructions will tell your subconscious to begin the healing process as quickly as possible.

As you continue these visualizations, begin to picture your partner as part of them. Picture them as happy and healthy and complementing your own peaceful state. By doing this, you are letting your psychic self know that you are prepared to embrace the concept of forgiveness. Keep a journal of your thoughts and feelings throughout this period. You may find that, initially they vary wildly but, as time goes by, they become more consistent. It is also worth remembering that forgiveness does not automatically mean the relationship is saved – you can still forgive someone, even though you decide to go your separate ways.

Reverse the magnet’s polarity

While it may feel that, in forgiving a transgression of this sort, you are being selfless and altruistic. However, in another sense, you are doing something entirely for yourself. Harbouring a grudge is, in essence, holding onto negative energy – and the only place that you can store that energy is in your own psyche. Negative thoughts and feelings are like a magnet to iron filings. Once you have picked up one, others will swiftly follow. In bearing a grudge, you are providing the perfect environment in which negative energies can flourish. Over time, they will grow and begin to affect your life in tangible, negative ways. In forgiving someone and letting go of negative feelings, you are protecting yourself from the harm that these thoughts and emotions can do you.

Looking at the bigger picture

In visualising the future and looking at the ‘bigger picture’, you are also opening yourself to the idea that pain is transient. This will help you in conversations with your partner, in which the most important thing you can do is listen. As the person who has been wronged, it is generally expected that you will be the one with the most to say.

However, by listening to your partner and giving their reasons and apologies careful weight and consideration, you may learn that there were things wrong with aspects of your relationship that you were previously unaware of – and these may be the key to beginning to rebuild what has been damaged. This is not to say that you shouldn’t have your say, but you will learn more about the truth of the matter by listening than talking. While this may tax your conscious mind, you can draw on your psychic reserves to strengthen your resolve.

If you decide that you want to forgive your partner, you must let him or her know. True forgiveness means that you will allow your partner to be part of the healing process and let them help you through the dark times you will face. By allowing them to see your vulnerabilities and insecurities and offer psychic help, you will be laying the foundations for a united future.