As spiritual, mental and physical beings, we humans are constantly adapting. Just as our bodies  reflect things like climate, food and exercise, our spirits and psyches reflect the people and events that come our way. On one hand, this adaptive power helps us to deal more effectively with future situations. On the other, it can prevent us from embracing new possibilities. Instead of seeing a person or situation as something new, our past experiences dictate how we act. Our memory ends up using us, instead of the other way round.

Perhaps the best example is trust. When a friend betrays us, when a business partner short changes us, when a lover is unfaithful, it wreaks havoc on our ability to trust. The next time a friend makes a promise, a business partner lays out a proposal, or a lover tells us where they’ve been, our subconscious minds suspect an undercurrent of deceit. Even if we pretend everything is alright, our view of the situation is clouded with the residue of the past. What’s worse, carrying this psychic residue can prevent us from attracting healthy new connections—whether in friendship, business or romance.

So how can we learn to trust again? Is it possible to vanquish the voices of the past and truly open up to other people? The answers are simpler than you might think. Through regular practice and adherence to a few basic principles, you’ll find yourself viewing people and situations through a clearer lens.

Be aware

Far and away, the most important step in learning to trust again is watching your own reactions with care and attention. You don’t have to judge yourself, or try and change your behavior from this to that. Simply observe. What are the events in the past which you hold on to? When you feel distrust, where specifically does it come from? As past feelings come to the surface, you will have greater insight into why trust is difficult for you. This insight will inspire action.

Trust yourself

A huge amount of distrust in others is actually the inability to trust ourselves. When somebody hurts or betrays us, our subconscious minds assume responsibility. “I attracted this person into my life. I was dumb enough to believe them. It’s my fault.” While it’s true that we co-create our realities, the fact is that many things happen that are beyond our control. Forgiving ourselves, and learning to be confident in our decisions, is key aspect of restoring trust in others. Simple affirmations are a great place to start. In a quiet place, think or say to yourself, “I trust myself. I trust my ability to make the right decisions. I trust the universe to guide me where I need to go.” Using whatever words and techniques feel right to you, repeat these affirmations as often as possible.

Find your natural state

In our hearts, we trust life completely. We know that we are already on the path that is right for us. But our psychic and mental energies do not always share this feeling. Restoring trust is a matter of connecting to our hearts and opening up the source of love within us. Whether in the bedroom or the boardroom, we naturally want to feel relaxed, confident, and able to trust other people—and we can. It may take forgiveness, affirmation and some good old-fashioned hard work, but the rewards of being able to trust again are truly priceless.