The papers regularly expose the extra-marital activities of celebrities and high-profile men and, all too often, one revelation is swiftly followed by more. While cheating isn’t a men-only trait, it does seem prevalent in the male of the species and can devastate entire families. A consistent thread in these cases seems to be that the men involved seem almost to be programmed to infidelity. Is this a case of genetics stepping into the driving seat or is there a psychic reason why these repeat offenders continue to give in to their basic urges?

Scientists have argued that men have been programmed to procreate since they learned to walk upright. Through impregnating as many women as possible, they were helping to secure the survival of the species. The rationale is that infidelity is a hangover from these days and is a fundamental part of the male make-up. However, other behavior, such as the fear of spiders and snakes, is also said to be a remnant from our cave-dwelling days and this behavior can be unlearned, hinting at the idea that most patterns of conduct can be reprogrammed. In these instances, hypnosis and cognitive therapies are often used. Hypnosis is a method of communicating powerful suggestions to the psychic self and instructing it to recalibrate the way it performs.

Deeper psychic reasons

Of course, each case of infidelity is unique, although the basic process is the same. There are many purported reasons why a man cheats on his wife or girlfriend. There are those who want to be caught in order to patch up a failing marriage, some want a rush of excitement, where others simply want to feel more desirable – the list is endless. However, these are all conscious reasons as to why a man may feel it necessary to betray his partner. Further examination will reveal that there are deeper psychic reasons why a man will continue to be unfaithful, even in the face of public or private humiliation.

Repeated infidelity has often been bracketed under the term ‘sexual addiction’ – and there is more to this diagnosis than meets the eye. Addiction of any form is a sign of psychic malaise or disharmony, and they are all self-destructive. Those who cut themselves say that it gives them a feeling of control at times when their life seems to be overwhelming. In addition, the scars and cuts are a physical sign to others that there is something wrong - a distress flare. All addictions use distress flares to communicate on a psychic level that help is needed. Drinkers get drunk, drug abusers get high and gamblers gamble to excess.

These are all physical symptoms of psychic distress. The subconscious uses whatever means it can to alert others that it is in trouble. It often has to resort to these tactics because there may be a battle going on with the conscious mind. The conscious mind will be presenting a facade of stability to the outside world and even denying that there is a problem. However, if the psychic self is stoppered, it will act like a can of fizzy drink that is shaken too hard and finds other ways to bubble out.

Creating excuses

In the case of those who are repeat cheaters, the pursuit of the sexual act and the sexual act itself can be symptoms of psychic illness. The conscious mind will create excuses for this behavior and deny it, until it becomes part of daily life. Yet each transgression chips away at the higher self, causing it more and more distress, rather like picking at a wound. Until the subconscious is addressed or the cheater reaches an all-time personal low, the cycle will continue. This particular form of addiction can be very hard for others to understand. Sex is usually associated with love. However, where repeat infidelity is concerned, sex is associated with self-loathing and psychic distress.

Breaking the cycle

While science may propose theories to explain male behavior, more and more men are turning to alternative methods to break their cycles of behavior. Clinics for sex addiction use hypnosis and other therapies to communicate with their patients’ subconscious and get to the true root of the problem. Celebrities such as Russell Brand, Tiger Woods and Don Johnson are examples of those who have chosen to tackle their problems head on and deal with the cause, rather than the symptoms.

There can be little doubt that, back in the early stages of our development, procreation was an important part of the male psyche. However, just as we have evolved, so too have our psychic selves. We can no longer use the past to excuse the present. Infidelity comes at a terrible price, especially for those who are guilty of it. Not only could it cost them their family and partner, but it can also cost them a psychic price that could ultimately result in their self-destruction.